Finding those notes in the shallow wooden drawer meant she was thinking of me. It meant I was loved.
I ran to her with my arms stretched out. When I got to her I buried my head in her breasts while she patted the top of my head. “Sugar, ” she said, “I knew you’d find it!” I breathed her in. She smelled like lavender detergent and the sweet citrus of her soda clung to her breath. Just as quickly as I had found shelter in her embrace I was gone. The folded note in my hand was a treasure and I held it to my heart. I bent down in front of the coffee table and began to write onto the yellow notepad. I couldn’t spell just yet, but I mimicked Granny’s words with confidence–‘I love you xoxo’. I folded my piece of art and gently placed it in the same drawer where I had found her love note to me.
Granny would leave notes for me in that drawer for years to come. Over time, grasping the pen would become a challenge and her letters would shake as if they were going to drip off of the edge of the lined paper. Every note was an affirmation that I was loved. My love for writing was born those early years of childhood and they have outlived my sweet Mae.
The beauty of encouraging words has always filled me with awestruck wonder. The power of those same words have sustained me in my darkest moments. Out of my own pain there has blossomed a desire to help encourage those that feel alone. I took that desire and have arranged it in the most simple and pretty bouquet for you to have. Fill a mason jar with cool spring water and place the fragrant blossoms where you will constantly be reminded. May you be reminded in the simplest terms ‘I love you xoxo’
In memory of my Mae.